After a little over two months, we were able to get the money to cover the sewer pipe repair. Then, two weeks later, yesterday happened. I believe I may be cursed.

Yesterday was Hell Day, and no Rapture afterwards, at least not so far.

I spent the day in the Providence Hospital E.R. (that place we can't pay for), after the ambulance ride (the one we can't pay for), answering questions, getting a CAT scan to make sure it wasn't appendicitis (that we can't pay for), and waiting around generally. They are much better at covering patient's concerns at Providence, and they take "NO!" for an answer, unlike the money-grabbing Legacy Emanuel. But they will want their money, and we do not have it.

What happened was this: I went to bed at about 6am, then at 10 woke up with intense abdominal pain. There was throwing up. I lost a lot of fluids. Things didn't get any better, and by about 2, Tom convinced me that I had to go in. I was too weak to drive, and Tom doesn't drive, so it had to be 911.

Turned out that it was another goddamn kidney stone, but at least at Providence they let you know it can be an outpatient procedure. They gave me a whole bunch of Rxs which I'm not going to fill, and a strainer to pee through when the stone passes, if it does. At about 8pmish we got home (cab - I didn't see going on the busses in the cold, in my jammies, plus I was still all weak and stuff) and I tried to watch the Supernatural season finale, but mostly watched the inside of my eyelids. I slept all night through, and more, and feel much stronger today. The pain is pretty much gone.

I should have stayed home. I don't have any idea how many thousands of dollars this will amount to, I only know that we don't have it, and have no chance to get it. The bills will be arriving soon, and then the phone calls, and the hits to our credit. My life sucks now. The only way to pay this is not to pay the house payments and other bills. We are always told, "You make too much to qualify for aid. Too bad, you just fell through the cracks. Somebody should really do something about that."

The thing that scares me the most isn't losing the house and everything, it's what happens to the cats?

We'll get the bills sooner than later (they NEVER will just coordinate the billings and send them to you in one package), and then... Well, I'm not sure there IS an "and then..." that's in any way livable. We'll see. I'm supposed to consult a specialist on Monday, but those guys won't see you if you don't have the $, so whatever happens, I may have to just tough it out.

I'm so tired of all these hits. It seems like every time things start looking up, something else smacks me upside the head, like a depressing soap opera. I keep looking for something better, but it isn't there.

Anyway, no more beading for me for the duration. Have to concentrate on getting some money together.