Life Going On...

I've been looking at schools for the past few weeks, with a view to learn a skill that will get me some kind of paying employment. So far I've seen hair design/cosmetology schools, culinary schools, community college programs in interior design, graphic design, and the like, and last of all art schools with similar programs. A lot of what I run into is that many of the design and career programs in these schools want me to get a BA or BFA degree, which I have zero interest in doing. I want to learn something and go do it, and not be bogged down with extraneous classes that someone else has decided I need to take to be "well rounded." I hated that kind of thing in my twenties, and I am unwilling to put up with it now. I've been leaning strongly toward baking and pastry, which is a science and an art. It could be cool, making beautiful loaves of bread early in the morning...

Yesterday, at my husband's insistence, I went over to the Oregon College of Arts and Crafts for a look around. They offer several programs, including a 3-year studio-based Certificate program, which is all about developing and improving studio skills, and a minimum of other kinds of classes. It was a big mistake to go there, and I regret it intensely. If ever there were a perfect place and learning environment for me, Oregon College of Art and Craft would be it. They not only have all the different fields, and all their associated toys equipment, they strongly encourage learning at least something about pretty much everything. When I told the admissions person that I had a hard time limiting myself to just one thing, and that I thought all media could fit together, she said, "You've just stated the philosophy of this school." *Sigh...* Art school is wrong, and impractical, and way, way, WAY too expensive. At the end of it, I'd be an independent artist, with a huge debt, and right now I'm an artist with much less debt. It would allow me to really explore my options in fiber, metals, design, photography, and more, if I wanted to check out woods, ceramics, or book arts, or even blacksmithing. The class sizes are very small, which ideally suits my learning style. And they teach textile design! Art school would help me to get that professional finish on my work that I so want to achieve, and will connect me up with galleries and the like. I went over there hoping to hate the place, and that's impossible -- it is an absolutely beautiful campus and very, very well equipped with pretty much everything you'd need to learn whatever you're interested in learning. The people who work there and go to school there love it. You know how it is when you arrive at a place that is just right and you know you belong there... ? My heart is completely broken. There is NO MONEY FOR THIS, nor will there ever be.

I'm now working on May BJP page, which I'll finish tonight or tomorrow. It's been going okay, fitting it in between other events and paying work. I hope to retro-fit March in pretty soon.

I have to find some way to come up with a house payment and payment for some bills, after emergency ($$) denti$try for Tom and emergency vet visit for Emily Cat ($$) this week, and my getting a pass to the Summit of Awesome conference before the other two things occurred... We're in yet another state of dire financial suspense, wondering about where the house payment will come from, etc., and I'm thinking about a 3-year, full time arts program against all common sense. It is time for fear and panic, if anything, and yet I'm feeling kind of... bubbly and relaxed today. Maybe I've lost all my grip on reality, or I'm just living up to my potential for irresponsibility.