July BPJ Done

July was all about expectations, dreams, and hopes, combined with obstacles and events coming right out of nowhere. I learned quite a few hard lessons, but I'm sure it was all for the best.

My Friend, Bruno

Thursday was Bruno's annual veterinary exam. The vet found a large, scary growth in the back of his throat. He called in the other vets to have a look, and no one had ever seen anything quite like it. They were wondering who among them had the balls to do the surgery, or if surgery was even posible. A needle biopsy was taken and bloodwork, and we've been waiting to hear the results.



Dr. McCoy, our vet, called this evening. He stayed late to get the biopsy report I think. The news is very bad. Bruno has a squamous cell carcinoma in the back of his mouth, firmly attached to his soft palate. All we can do is make him happy and obey his every command until he can't eat any more. In other words, just carry on like normal... Better to know than not. And at least Bruno won't have to put up with surgery. I don't know how long this will take, but we'll give him the best end of life that we can. And I'm not going to miss him until he's gone.

Nope, No School For Me

No school for anyone who is not independently wealthy. I'm heartbroken. I could have done so much there. I would also have gotten health insurance through them. Wonder what that would have been like... ? Once and for all I have FINALLY learned this lesson: the only value we have in this culture is how much money we have. All your ideals, all your goodness, ethics, sense of "fair play", FORGET IT! Money is all. Having learned this, my life is no different, but when/if I am in a position to grab anything, anything at all, you can bet I will. I advise y'all to do the same.

I got my financial "aid" letter. They'll let me take out $12,181 in loans and grants for the year. The grant is for $2,268. The rest is interest-bearing debt. They expect me to come up with the other $11,458 on my own. Guess they think it will fly out my butt. I have never even made that much money in a year in my whole life. You know that quote, the one about "Never let lack of money keep you from doing what you want to do?" I believe it was originally coined by bankers and credit card companies. It is your first-class ticket on the Debt Train. I can't get on that train any more. I can't take on tens of thousands of dollars of debt, which I'd be paying into my 90s. When they say "we can make this happen," IT IS A TOTAL LIE!

NOT INTERESTED IN HEARING that, oh, life's not really that way, oh, you can learn all that on your own, oh, you can just take classes, goodness is it's own reward, etc., etc., etc. IT IS NOT TRUE. If I could learn all that on my own, I WOULD HAVE. Schools have equipment I can't afford and don't have room for, and instructors with first-hand knowledge, and that's invaluable. Individual classes are too expensive for me. I doubt I'll ever be able to go to those again, or at least not for the foreseeable future. Goodness just gets you poorer and kicked in the teeth. These have been hard lessons to learn, but I have finally learned them well.

Comnments have been disabled. I don't really care what anyone thinks right now.

Yay! Most Excellent News!

I just found out I've been accepted to the Oregon College of Art and Craft!!!!! The beadwork I've been doing for the BJP had a lot to do with my getting in, I believe. This is something I've been working on for awhile, getting all my transcripts sent, putting together a portfolio (hard work!), filling out forms... I'm completely thrilled! Continuing my arts education will help me get my work up to that next elusive level. I'll be in the Certificate Program, with my main concentration in fibers, but the school requires that students study LOTS of different crafts. It will be very challenging to go here -- they have a very rigorous program -- but I'm sure I'll love every minute of it. Art school has long been a dream of mine. Next, of course, comes the Big Question: How am I going to pay for this?? But right now, for today, I am delighted and happy.

In other news, I heard some strange noises out on my front porch early this morning and was able to snap this quick shot through the livingroom blinds. This should prove that we are NOT feeding cats out there!

This Pie's So Good It Is A Crime

This here is one of the most outstanding things I've seen in forever!

Here Are Some Drawings...

Here are a couple of drawings, one I rediscovered, one I drew very recently. I'm trying to get down to the simplest renderings of things. You can click on the images to make them bigger.

Black and White + Red - 3 x 5


Maya - 9 x 12


I feel extremely inadequate with drawing, and much prefer other media.

June BJP Page Done

Here's my June page. I wanted to see what would happen if I incorporated some stone beads, and the jade donut and kyanite blade-shaped beads came to hand. This is about some of my feelings about early Summer, when the weather is getting very warm and there is still a lot of growth and energy as some plants are blooming and some begin to show fruits that start to ripen. Everything feels so alive!